So today I want to share this thing I learned about mood words. You know, like when people say they feel “stressed” or “down” or “overwhelmed”?
Where it started
I was helping my buddy Dave through a rough patch last month. Dude lost his job and kept saying “I’m fine” all the time. But his eyes looked exhausted, he stopped texting back. One night he calls me sounding super flat, just repeating “Everything’s fine man, everything’s fine.”
That’s when I realized – holy crap, his words weren’t matching what he was actually feeling. How can I help if he won’t say how he’s really doing?
Trying something different
Next day I went over with pizza. Didn’t ask “how are you” – instead I said “what single word describes today for you?” He paused forever then mumbled: “Heavy.”
Boom. Suddenly we’re talking about how his chest feels like concrete blocks. How job applications make his hands shake. Real stuff.
Started doing this more:
- Asked my sister “where’s your mood at between 1-10?” when she looked tense
- Changed my work check-ins from “progress?” to “what color is your energy today?”
- Kept a mood word journal for myself every morning
The big surprise
This tiny language shift changed absolutely everything:
- My wife told me “empty” after her mom’s surgery – I finally realized she needed help cooking meals
- My teammate said “trapped” during deadline stress – we found out he was scared to ask for extensions
- Personally, writing “foggy” in my journal 4 days straight made me realize I needed a damn vacation
The kicker? Most people don’t even know how to name their feelings. Asking for mood words gives them permission to be real without feeling dramatic. “Stuck” feels safer than “depressed.” “Wobbly” beats “anxious” for lots of folks.
Been three months now. Still using mood words daily. Dave’s calling his feelings “prickly” instead of “fine.” Still blows my mind that one stupid word choice can crack open real support.