Have you ever felt this way? Sometimes your body feels uncomfortable, with aches and pains here and there. You think you might be sick, but after going to the hospital for a checkup, the doctor says, “You’re fine.”
Then you start to wonder: What’s wrong with me?
In fact, many times, our emotions are not expressed and are “hidden” in our bodies. For example, emotions that have been suppressed for a long time and unresolved trauma can slowly affect our physical health.
Today, I would like to share two real stories with you. These stories come from two friends who came to me for psychological counseling—Lisa and Nina. Their experiences may help you better understand yourself and remind you not to ignore the signals your body is sending you.
Lisa’s story
Three years ago, Lisa’s life was full of difficulties. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and was under a lot of pressure at work. Every day at work was like a battle, and she was extremely tired and in a bad mental state.
Gradually, her body began to show signs of trouble.
She often had headaches that were so severe she couldn’t sleep at night. Her mind was a mess, and she felt like she was floating in the air, disconnected from her body. Sometimes she didn’t want to eat all day, and other times she would eat a lot in the middle of the night, then feel sick and run to the bathroom to make herself vomit.
She couldn’t take it anymore, so she went to the hospital for a check-up. The doctor told her that there was nothing wrong with her physically and suggested she see a psychologist.
She had already prepared herself for this, and the psychologist diagnosed her with “mild depression.”
The doctor recommended that she seek psychological counseling.
She found a very friendly psychologist. This counselor spoke very gently and had a reassuring gaze. During each session, she did most of the talking while the counselor listened quietly.
It felt like someone was willing to accept all of her emotions, whether happy or sad, and embrace them.
Once, the counselor told her a word called “emotional somatization.” It means that when we suppress our emotions for a long time, these emotions do not disappear into thin air, but are expressed through the body.
For example, headaches, stomachaches, insomnia, binge eating… These are all ways the body is telling us, “You are too tired. You need to stop.”
Lisa realized that her headaches weren’t random, but her inner voice calling for help. It was reminding her that she couldn’t go on like this and had to face her problems head-on.
That day, when she walked out of the counseling room, she took a deep breath. The sun was shining on her, and it felt warm. She finally decided to stop avoiding those uncomfortable feelings and start facing herself seriously.
Nina’s Story
Nina’s life seemed to be going well. She was highly educated, married to a successful husband, and had two adorable children. Her work wasn’t busy, and everything seemed fine.
But only she knew how much she was suffering.
Her husband was too busy with work and was often away from home. She took care of the children and did the housework by herself, while also juggling her job. Even when her husband came home occasionally, he didn’t care about her hard work.He would just lie on the sofa playing with his phone or leave his dishes on the table, acting as if it were his right.
He often urged her to quit her job, saying that it was “unnecessary.”
Slowly, Nina began to hate being a ‘mother’ and a “wife.” She didn’t want to be a “perfect mother” anymore, nor did she want to continue playing the role of a “good wife and mother.”
She became increasingly exhausted and depressed, and even began to doubt whether she was being too sensitive. After all, many people around her envied her life.
But she was still in pain.
She finally made up her mind to seek psychological counseling in the hope of finding a way out.
The counselor she met was a woman of similar age who made her feel very comfortable at first glance, as if they had known each other for a long time.
After listening to her basic situation, the counselor gently asked, “What’s wrong?”
Just this simple question made Nina burst into tears. She poured out all her grievances and pain.
The counselor stayed with her, listening to her pour her heart out, without judgment or interruption.
This was the first time in Nina’s life that she felt what it was like to be “seen.”
In the following sessions, they talked about deeper issues. The counselor helped her look back on her childhood experiences to see what had left scars on her heart.
She realized that the person she had chosen to marry was actually a reflection of her parents from her childhood. There was always a voice inside her denying herself, and that voice was actually her parents’ scolding and criticism from when she was a child.
She internalized the feeling that she was “not good enough,” which is why she kept attracting people who were bad to her, because subconsciously she felt that she was not worthy of love and kindness.
Without the counselor’s help, she might never have realized this.
But after a period of counseling, she began to learn a new way of treating herself. This way was gentle and loving, rather than harsh and critical.
She said that this is the most amazing thing about psychological counseling: once you are truly understood and accepted by someone, you learn how to understand and accept yourself.
Summary: Three important signals sent by the body
- Unexplained physical pain
For example, headaches, stomachaches, shoulder pain, etc. If you have checked many times and found no problem, it may be your emotions trying to send you a distress signal. - Changes in eating habits
Not wanting to eat, or suddenly eating a lot, or even vomiting after eating. These behaviors often hide emotional stress. - Difficulty concentrating and memory loss
If you find that your mind is always foggy and you are easily distracted, you may be suppressing your emotions too much.
To those reading this article:
If you’re experiencing similar issues, don’t ignore your body’s signals. Consider talking to a professional counselor. They’re not doctors, but they can help you understand yourself and find the root of the problem.
More importantly, believe in yourself and take the first step. Just like Lisa and Nina, actively seeking help is actually a form of self-care.
Remember this:
It’s not that you’re not strong enough; it’s that you’re carrying too much emotional baggage.
May you find inner peace soon, and may you always remember:
You deserve to be understood, listened to, and treated with kindness.