I noticed things felt kinda off between me and the missus last month. We were snapping at each other over dumb stuff like whose turn it was to take out the recycling. Sex felt like another chore on the to-do list, you know? So I dug into research like a squirrel hunting acorns and found seven tricks that sounded legit.
Starting Small
First up, I kicked phones outta the bedroom – no scrolling after 9 PM. At first, we’d just lay there staring at the ceiling like idiots. But after three nights? We actually started talking about our crappy days instead of zoning out on TikTok.
That Awkward Talk
Next came the sex chat – felt like walking on Legos barefoot. On Tuesday night I blurted, “Wanna try that weird massage oil Jess recommended?” She laughed so hard she snorted, but hey! Now we’ve got this unspoken rule: if one of us grabs the coconut oil after dinner, it’s game on.
- Scheduled doorknob signals (socks mean busy/no disturb)
- Three-minute back rubs before initiating anything
- “Gimme the deets” Tuesdays where we share one new desire
The Real Gamechanger
Wednesday was my lightbulb moment. Instead of rushing to pound town after work, I made her coffee exactly how she likes (two sugars, splash of oat milk) and just listened while she vented about her psycho boss. Didn’t try to fix it, just rubbed her shoulders. That night? Best sex in six months – and I didn’t even initiate.
Now we’re testing thing four: skin-to-skin naps. Not sex, just chest-to-back cuddling under blankets. Feels cheesier than nachos but weirdly? When we wake up, we’re stupid affectionate like teenager sweethearts.
Still figuring out the other three methods (damn tantra yoga videos look impossible), but so far? Fewer fights over recycling duty, more laughing at stupid cat memes together. Marriage ain’t fixed overnight but putting connection before orgasms? That’s the real secret sauce.