So I’ve been getting tons of DMs asking what phone actually takes fire selfies without making you look like a wax figure. Figured I’d test it myself before talking nonsense.
My Old Setup Was Straight Trash
Started with my busted iPhone XR yesterday. Front camera made my skin look like melted cheese under bathroom lights. Tried all them “beauty mode” tricks too – looked either radioactive or fuzzy. Got so mad I almost threw the damn thing.
Went Full Detective Mode
Researched till my eyes bled. Key things I hunted for:
- Not megapixel junk: Big numbers lie. Cared about sensor size
- Natural skin tones: Hate that artificial Barbie doll look
- Night mode magic: Real people take pics when the tequila’s flowing at 2am
The Phone Experiments
Sprinted to T-Mobile after work. Made the poor rep unlock every display model:
iPhone 15 Pro: Felt bougie. Took crisp shots but made my cheekbones look TOO sharp. Skin smoothing got aggressive when I blinked.
Pixel 7 Pro: Google’s photo voodoo worked… sometimes. Outdoor shots popped, but dim bar lighting gave me zombie eyes.
Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra: Beauty mode defaults turned my pores nonexistent. Had to manually disable seven filters just to look human. Annoying as hell.
Goldilocks Moment
Almost gave up till I grabbed this random new OnePlus phone. Didn’t even know they made phones still. But holy shit:
- Natural colors WITHOUT turning me orange
- Kept my freckles visible but didn’t highlight crusty pores
- That night selfie? Actually looked like me after three margaritas
Final Takeaways
Three lessons learned the hard way:
1. Flagship price tags don’t mean better selfies
2. “Pro” modes are mostly garbage – real ones use AUTO
3. Any phone can suck if the lighting’s trash. Literally stood under a neon exit sign for half these tests
Currently debating whether returning my kidney-budget iPhone was a jerk move. But hey – if you ain’t cheating the selfie game, you’re losing it.