Man, my metamour situation was getting messy last month. My partner Sam started dating Alex, and wow did things get awkward real quick. I kept feeling jealous whenever Alex texted Sam during our date nights. Then I’d see Alex at parties looking all tense and avoiding eye contact with me. Not fun.
Getting Honest With Myself
First thing I did? Sat down with a coffee and scribbled all my nasty feelings in this cheap notebook. Wrote down stuff like “Alex gives fake compliments” and “They take too much of Sam’s weekend time”. Seeing it on paper made me realize half this crap was just in my head.
The Real Talk Moment
Braced myself and asked all three of us to meet at that diner with the terrible pie. Told ’em straight up: “Look, this tension sucks. I wanna fix it.” Kept my voice calm even though my palms were sweating buckets. Biggest rule? No blaming. Just said how I felt without pointing fingers.
Setting Ground Rules
After two hours of talking (and three terrible coffees), we made actual rules:
- Schedule cheat sheet: Sam now texts both of us when dates change
- No secrets policy: If someone’s upset, we say it quick instead of stewing
- Alone time guarantee: Sam blocks out solo time with each of us every week
The Test Run Disaster
Tried having a group movie night way too soon. Big mistake. Alex kept hogging the popcorn while Sam nervously looked back and forth. Felt like a bad reality show. We bailed after 45 minutes and agreed: small steps only.
Doing It Right This Time
Started with just me and Alex grabbing coffee without Sam. Talked about boring stuff first – work, that awful diner pie, anything except relationships. Turns out we both love trashy sci-fi shows. Who knew? Now we send each other meme reactions when new episodes drop.
Where We’re At Now
Still not perfect, but way better. Last week all three of us actually enjoyed a barbecue without tension headaches. Key things that clicked:
- Text check-ins: Quick “you good?” messages prevent small issues blowing up
- Separate relationships: Stopped comparing my bond with Sam to theirs
- Venting buddy: Have a poly friend NOT involved to rant at when needed
Took six weeks of awkward talks and patience, but now we can laugh about that terrible movie night. Still keep antacids in my bag though – just in case!